Jacquamole!

As someone whose burger-buying decision-making tends be negatively influenced by TV ads perpetuating the stereotype that men don't know how to cook (let alone open a bag of cereal)—not to mention those that objectify women in perhaps the most unsubtle way imaginable—it's probably no surprise that I'm not a big fan of Hardee's commercials.

That said, I must admit to being at least mildly impressed by a recent ad for their French Dip Thickburger. Granted, it's not the ad itself that impresses me, but rather that Hardee's chose to hitch this particular ad campaign to the slogan: "It's better when it's French". To do so a mere six years after a significant percentage of the US population seemed to consider ordering "French Fries" (instead of "Freedom Fries") tantamount to a minor act of treason has to be considered a bit of gamble on Hardee's part, and I can't help but tip my beret to such a display of guts.

It is better when it's French
The inspiration for beginning this article in such a roundabout manner stems from a recent food-related conversation I had with one of brumpelstiltskin's closest aides (alias: Axe), who asked me: "Do you really want to take guacamole lessons from a Frenchman?"

Of course, the Frenchman in question is none other than my culinary hero, Jacques Pépin. To respond to Axe's question, my answer is a simple yet emphatic "Oui!" In other words, you do want to learn the art of guacamole—or, as I like to call it, "Jacquamole"—from Monsieur Pépin. The simple recipe (found in his book "Fast Food My Way") is as follows:

Mix 2 ripe avocados (crushed coarsely with a fork), ½ cup diced tomatoes (including seeds/juice), 1/4 cup finely chopped onions (put in a colander and rinsed under cold water), 1½ teaspoons finely chopped garlic, 3 tablespoons minced scallion (i.e., green onions), 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro, 1½ tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, and ¾ teaspoon salt. Finally, if you like a little spice, add 2 tablespoons minced chile pepper and ½ teaspoon Tabasco Green Pepper sauce.

Toss this in a bowl, add some tortilla chips, and enjoy!

A Champagne Supernova of Tears

I know, I know, brumpelstilskin is just incorrigible: to cite an article about Oasis as our all-time least readership-pleasing blog post only to turn around and publish a new article about Oasis a mere five days later—what nerve, what incoherence, what hooliganism!

I read the news today (oh Noel!)
But how could I have foreseen the (inglorious) story that would await me on Saturday morning? That's when a text from a friend (code name: Erik the Red) alerted brumpelstiltskin to the following statement issued Friday night by Oasis’ lead guitarist and chief songwriter, Noel Gallagher:

It's with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.

By Liam, Noel was of course referring to his younger brother and Oasis' lead singer (pictured above, left, in happier times). Apparently, Britpop's favorite sibling rivals had another of their famous bro-hahas Friday evening (prior to a concert in Paris), only this latest row appears to have been a bit more serious than usual—rumor even has it that Liam smashed Noel's favorite guitar! (In case you’re wondering, the “lads” are aged 42 and 37, respectively.) Granted, Noel’s “left” the band many times before—and I wouldn’t be surprised if the brothers decide to patch things up and reunite—but the fact that he posted his decision to the band’s official website does lend it a certain air of finality that his previous announcements lacked.

It's better to burn out...
If this really is the end, it comes at a pretty good time, I think. For instance, whereas five years ago the band seemed to be descending rapidly along a path of ever-increasing irrelevance, I would argue that their last two records (released in 2005 and 2008) have marked a rather improbable (and relatively triumphant) return to respectability. In fact, their last single—the lyrically despairing but musically pulsating “Falling Down”, released in March–is perhaps my favorite Oasis song in over 10 years.

But another reason why now seems like an okay time to call it quits has already been mentioned; namely, Noel and Liam are 42 and 37, and thus fast approaching Rolling Stones territory. At age 66, Mick Jagger is still singing "Satisfaction"; twenty-five years from now, will Oasis fans really want two 60-year-old Gallagher brothers still up onstage singing "Live Forever" and calling each other wankers?

The World's Best, Litterally

Brumpelstiltskin has a rather deplorable habit of crafting blog posts that only appeal to a small percentage (and in some cases none) of the Mic’s Tape readership. For many readers, today’s article is but the latest example of this heinous trend. But for those of you who are (a) cat owners and (b) not 100% satisfied with your current brand of cat litter, well, this is your lucky day.

With that ridiculous introduction out the way, let me cut to the chase. Back in October I issued a glowing endorsement of a product called World’s Best Cat Litter (WBCL). Ten months later, my satisfaction (and that of my cats, Dickens and Dolly) remains complete. For starters, I continue to marvel at its combination of top-notch "clumpability" and odor control; all-natural corn kernel-based ingredients; and biodegradable, septic-safe composition (which allows it to be flushed rather than taken out with the trash).

But what impresses me most is its cost-effectiveness. For instance, since May 1 of this year, I've spent $37.10 on three 8-lb bags and one 18.7-lb box of WBCL (yes, I've been tracking this with Quicken), which amounts to less than $10 per month over the past four months (note: I have two litter boxes, which I scoop at least once a day). To recycle some statistics from my original post, compare this to the last brand I bought, "Better Valu", which was seemingly cheaper at $2.63 for a 10-lb bag, but utterly reeked (and needed to be thrown away) after just a week—and thus would've amounted to more than $10 per month had I stuck with it.

All that said, my real inspiration for revisiting WCBL is that the company recently launched a new logo (pictured), new packaging and product names, a Facebook page and Twitter feed, and a fully revamped website that features a wealth of information—including several videos. In conjunction with this launch, WBCL has given its blog supporters (like Mic's Tape) the opportunity to share an exclusive coupon with their readers. If you'd like to try WBCL, click here to download a coupon for $4.00 off your next purchase. Please note that the coupon must be downloaded by August 29 (i.e., Saturday), but does not expire until September 30.

Iowa Town Hall Tamer Than in (Kiss My) Massachusetts

I attended a health care "Town Hall" meeting yesterday morning on the University of Iowa campus in Iowa City, led by local US Congressman Dave Loebsack (D-IA). In fact, you may have spotted me afterward holding the door for Mr Loebsack as we exited MacBride Hall (where the event took place) and stepped out into the beautiful Pentacrest section of campus. (Sure, we didn't talk, but it was still the closest I've come to rubbing shoulders with a "major" politician since shaking hands with the now-disgraced John Edwards in 2004.)

While leaving the meeting, I overheard an older gentleman remark that the forum was "more raucous" than he expected. In contrast, I found the atmosphere to be considerably more civil than I anticipated—an impression undoubtedly colored by footage I'd seen from a similar Town Hall held last Tuesday in brumepelstiltskin's home state of Massachusetts (led by US Rep Barney Frank, D-MA). Take a look at the video:


Besides this Daily Show segment (and a similar YouTube clip), I also caught about 30 min of unedited coverage replayed the other night on C-SPAN. (That's right, I was watching C-SPAN for fun. Do you wanna fight about it?) What struck me most about the MA Town Hall were that the audience's questions (at least the ones that I saw) almost invariably revealed skepticism, fear, and/or opposition to health care reform; and also the frequency with which audience members booed or otherwise interrupted Mr Frank while he attempted to respond to said questions.

In comparison, the atmosphere yesterday in Iowa City was less charged, presumably in part because the local community is predominantly sympathetic to health care reform. That said, there were certainly some fireworks in MacBride Hall, mostly in the form of audience members of different persuasions yelling at each other during questions. But while there were plenty of derisive hoots—and at least one rather spirited cry of "Socialism!"—I didn't spot any pictures of Barack (or should I say Adolph?) Obama sporting a Hitler mustache, and Mr Loebsack was for the most part given polite deference when speaking.

In regard to the meeting's actual content, I felt that Mr Loebsack's tone fostered a positive dialogue, and that his responses effectively addressed many of the misleading/false claims circulating about issues like euthanasia (the bill would neither set up "death panels", nor mandate end-of-life counseling sessions for seniors); a "government takeover" of health care (a public option would not replace private insurance); health care "rationing" (he cited an American Medical Association statement that "the bill would not ration care"); and the bill's potential effects on small businesses (an amendment proposed by conservative "Blue Dog" Democrats would exempt companies with payrolls below $500K from paying for government-sponsored health care).

To be critical, there were instances in which Loebsack's responses could have been more transparent, including his reply to the first audience question, which asked whether reform would entail government funding of abortion services. Loebsack's reply (that nothing in the bill would "mandate" coverage for abortion) echoes similar comments by President Obama, but according to the non-partisan website Factcheck.org (article here), Loebsack's and Obama's statements only convey a sort of partial truth:

The truth is that bills now before Congress don’t require federal money to be used for supporting abortion coverage. So the president [and Loebsack are] right to that limited extent. But it’s equally true that House and Senate legislation would allow a new "public" insurance plan to cover abortions, despite language added to the House bill that technically forbids using public funds to pay for them.

Loebsack also lacked detail when replying to concerns about how reform would be paid for (to paraphrase, he basically said that a public option would initially be paid for by taxpayers, but eventually by individual premiums—similar to private health care plans). Out of all the opposition I've heard voiced about reform, it's the concerns about how to pay for it that strike me as by far the most compelling. To help restore lagging public support for reform, the President and Congress would be wise to better target unease about the price tag.

Lastly, dear readers, if you have anything to say about the issue, please share your thoughts!

I Got Technotrashed

Sure, the transactions that inspired this blog post were paid for using a Visa (not a MasterCard), but still:

Paying a company to responsibly recycle a 29 lb box of electronic waste: pricey

Paying the US Postal Service to ship said box to said company: pricier

Finding out that said box was lost in transit: priceless!

Sometimes you take out the technotrash, sometimes it takes you out
The company I refer to is GreenDisk, a WA-based e-waste recycler. As mentioned in a previous post, I'd long been meaning to send them some unwanted electronic materials (aka "technotrash"), and last month I finally did it. Into a big box I tossed a pile of old videotapes from my mom; some obsolete audio cassettes from my friend Paul; plus my own accumulation of CD-Rs, cords, jacks, a modem, and more. In the end, the box weighed in at 29 lbs, which GreenDisk charged $9.65 to process and the USPS charged $13.30 to ship (via media mail). As I left the Post Office with a smug look on my face, I thought I'd really done my part to close the e-waste loop. In reality, I was about to get Technotrashed.

Last Friday, I received a letter from the USPS Des Moines Bulk Mail Center notifying me that an "empty wrapper with [my] address on it was found in the mail and it is believed to have been separated from a parcel during handling". After re-reading the letter a few times (and looking up "parcel" in the dictionary), I realized that by "empty wrapper" they meant my box and by "parcel" they meant my 29 lbs of e-waste.

Five days (and many tears) later, I'm still trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Did the box fall off the mail truck en route to Des Moines, and are its former contents now scattered alongside Interstate 80? Did the postal worker who processed my shipment realize that it contained several episodes of Dr Quinn on VHS, and decide to "sully" his employer's reputation and make off with the whole caboodle?

I might never know. But one thing I do know is that if those 29 lbs of e-waste end up in the landfill—which now seems likely—they will not do so in vain. No, because even if nothing else that's good ever results from this recyclatragedy, at least it gave brumpelstiltskin the inspiration to blog again.

Micsamorphosis

Sometimes a caterpillar evolves into a butterfly, but other times—at least in the virtual world of blogging—it's the opposite that occurs.

Yes, I refer to Mic's Tape. Admittedly, this analogy is a bit silly and perhaps ill-chosen (can a blog that's never floated higher than five posts in a month really be likened to a creature with wings?). But regardless of whether this blog could ever "fly", there's little doubt that in recent months its activity has slowed to a caterpillar's crawl. And just like the voracious appetite of that famously hungry caterpillar, Mic's Tape has surely done nothing over the past six weeks if not gluttonously devour the time (and hopes) of its loyal, beloved readership who've checked for updates each day in vain.

Pressure, blogging down on me
During these six weeks, brumpelstitskin (BS) has been pondering the causes of this reverse metamorphosis. In doing so, it's become clear that at some point we've lost the plot—instead of a joy, blogging has become a burden.

One would think that a blog with six contributors would have no trouble generating new material, and initially this was the case—if Michail ran out of ideas, MC Gallagher was there to pick up the slack, and so on. And while the BS creative process was never effortless (far from it), for the first year or so this effort remained firmly a labor of love. But as BS exhausted our original list of material, and as the endlessly inspiring 2008 political season winded down, a collective case of writer's blog undeniably crept in. Yet as the creativity dried up, a self-imposed pressure to produce undoubtedly remained. Two twin desires—an inner longing to regularly create new material & an outer longing to not disappoint those readers who regularly check the blog for new material—together fed this self-pressure, which in turn fed upon the fun of creating (and the quality of the creation).

Can't we give blogging one more chance?
So, what can be done about this? For about an hour or so (out of the past six weeks of contemplation), BS considered retirement, but quickly thought better of it: our love of writing is way too strong to throw in the towel. Instead, an alternative two-part solution has come to fruition. First, BS has decided to henceforth reject any self-generated expectations of blogging at a certain frequency (e.g., once per week); rather, we will only write when we feel a genuine inspiration to do so (even if it's only once per year). Second, to address our strong desire to not disappoint those who've regularly checked the blog, BS wishes to formally encourage our beloved readers to sign up for automatic notifications of new Mic's Tape posts (this way, you'll only need to check the blog when you're certain there's new material).

To receive automatic notifications, you can either: (a) ask me to set it up so that a notification of each new post will be sent directly to your email address; or (b) subscribe yourself to Mic's Tape posts via a web portal/aggregator service such as iGoogle, Google Reader or Netvibes using the "Subscribe To" tool on the right side of the blog. Just let me know if you have any questions about this.

In closing, here's hoping that the future will regain in fun what it loses in frequency.

A Quarter-Induced Quarter-Life Crisis

I recently had a “conversation” in my mind—err, in the Mic’s Tape newsroom—about things that make brumpelstiltskin feel old.

For MC Gallagher, it was discovering that the teenage sister of his friend and fellow blogger, Anna MD, had never even heard of a band named Oasis. For Mike-Michael, it was the curious mixture of annoyance and rejection he experienced "late" Sunday night when canvassers for the University of Iowa Student Government (UISG) Go Party ticket (a) woke him up at 10:30pm on a "work night" by knocking on his college-aged neighbors' door, but (b) did not knock on his (27-year-old alumni) door several minutes thereafter.

For me, though, it was a recent realization that the US Mint's "50 State Quarters" program has officially run its course. The 10-year program started with the release of the Delaware coin on 4 Jan 1999—back when I had about as much need for a Roth IRA as I did for a razor—and I remember thinking that it was gonna take somewhere between a "wicked long time" and "forever" for the 50th coin to finally enter circulation. But now, a quick decade later, the Hawaii coin (pictured) is already here. Oh...time [single tear].

Has anything made you feel older lately?

Rien de Fawlty à Propos de Basil

My cooking horizons were expanded gigantiquement three years ago when mon cher ami Eli shipped me a copy of "Fast Food My Way" by French Chef, Jacques Pépin.

Since all of my culinary mentors up until this point had been Swedes (notably this guy), I was initially skeptical of learning recipes from a Frenchman, but Pépin's kind visage (familiar from PBS) quickly set me at ease, as did his pledge (in the Introduction) to "easily transform [various] ingredients into fast and elegant dishes".

One ingredient introduced to me by Chef Jacques quickly became one of my favorites—basil (pictured below). This green, lusciously aromatic herb is used to great effect in Pépin's recipe for "Summertime Pasta" which I highly recommend to cooks of any skill level, including beginners.

To start, gather the following inside a large microwavable bowl: 3 cups diced (1-inch) tomatoes, 1 diced (½-inch) zucchini, 1 cup diced (½-inch) white button mushrooms, 1 teaspoon salt, ¾ teaspoon pepper, and one-third cup extra-virgin olive oil. Then, cook 6-10 ounces of pasta shells (Jacques calls for 6 oz, I prefer 10). Shortly before the pasta is finished cooking, microwave the bowl of vegetables for ~2 minutes (until lukewarm). Next, drain the pasta and add it to the bowl of vegetables, sprinkle with 1 cup of Parmesan cheese and 1½ cups of coarsely shredded, loosely packed fresh basil. Toss well. Serve immediately.

Bring Out Your Dead Electronics!

Procrastination has plagued me for years, but now, after merely talking the talk for so long, I'm finally ready to walk the GreenDisk walk.

GreenDisk is a Washington-based company that recycles a wide range of computer and technology-related products. The company originated around two main concerns: (1) protecting privacy via the secure destruction of private information contained in "technotrash" (i.e., obsolete and unwanted computer/electronic materials); and (2) recycling these materials in an environmentally responsible manner. Accepted items include CDs, DVDs, ink cartridges, cell phones, iPods, VHS tapes, computer cables, laptops, and more (full list here).

I first discovered GreenDisk a few years ago (whilst surfing the web for a way to recycle burned CDs), but only now—amid some long overdue spring cleaning—am I at last preparing to send them a big barrowload of e-crap. With that in mind, if you have some "technotrash" of your own that you'd like to get rid of, please let me know and I'll gladly include it in my shipment.

Greenspankonomics 101

This pie graph depicts the relative amount of money I spent between Dec '08 and Feb '09 on cat food/litter (blue), coffee (yellow), and laundry (green). As you can see, the cost of caring for 2 cats was roughly equivalent to the combined cost of supporting my caffeine addiction and washing my skivvies. Based on these numbers, one conclusion is that I could financially justify the adoption of 2 additional cats simply by giving up coffee and laundry...

The above example is just one of countless insights that money management software packages like Quicken and Microsoft Money can provide. Another insight they offer concerns the topic I've chosen to blog about today: budgets!

The tri-MOLE goal
Any graduate of the Greenspankian school of personal finance can tell you that my most basic recommended savings objective is the "Tri-MOLE Goal": that is, to amass at least 3 (and ideally 6) Months Of Living Expenses (aka "MOLEs") inside a liquid savings or checking account. Of course, to do this, one first needs to know what their personal MOLE actually amounts to. In my opinion, the simplest and most logical way to determine this figure is to create a budget.

While the old-fashioned way of crafting a budget—pen, paper, calculator—certainly remains a respectable option, if you own a personal computer I'd highly recommend using the abovementioned Money or Quicken software instead (note: one or the other is usually included with a new computer). Both programs allow users to set up electronic ledgers (corresponding to checking accounts, credit cards, etc) in which the amounts, dates, and categories of transactions can be easily entered and organized. What's more, transactions can typically be downloaded directly from a bank's website, too.

Once you've entered transactions from, say, the past 3 months, the software can then use that information to automatically generate a breakdown of your average monthly income and expenses and—voila!—you've got yourself a budget, mon ami! With this new data at one's disposal, it's much easier to calculate just how much 3-6 MOLEs really amounts to, and therefore how much money should ideally be tucked away into an emergency savings fund.

Of budgeting and bartering
OK, the time required to read this article is quickly approaching 90 seconds (i.e., the average attention span for reading a financial blog post written by complete tool), so I'd best wrap it up. In conclusion, let me just add that if there's anyone out there who'd like more info about budgeting with Money or Quicken (or even a tutorial), please let me know. I don't charge for my services, although I am now accepting free coffee and laundry.

Can You Rear(end) Me Now?

In many ways, I've always been a 60-year-old man in an under-30-year-old body. Take, for instance, my instinctively uptight and resolute "they just didn't do that when I was a boy" aversion to using a cell phone while driving.

If I'm conversing with a loved one and realize they're on the road, I feel nervous; if I'm driving and spot a fellow motorist on their phone, I feel less safe; and if I talk on the phone while driving (warning: hypocrite alert!), I feel more dangerous than Iceman accused Maverick of being in Top Gun (see here). Thus, count me among those disappointed by a recent article alleging that a proposed state ban on using handheld cell phones while driving "will likely die in the Iowa legislature this year".

My rationale for supporting such a ban initially stemmed from an intuitive, unscientific assumption that talking on the phone makes drivers (including myself) less cautious behind the wheel. A subsequent review of the scientific literature leads me to the same conclusion. For example, one recent report, which provided a statistical summary of 33 prior studies, concluded unequivocally that "cell phone conversation while driving increases reaction time to events and stimuli".

Thus, I do hope that the state legislature has a change of heart and votes to make Iowa the sixth US state (behind California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York and Washington) to pass a handheld cell phone ban for all drivers. Can anyone think of a compelling reason why they should not?

The Soiled Fruits of Conscience

So, feeling particularly inspired by Gustaf’s recent post on "brain food", I decided to buy some antioxidant-laden berries during a recent trip to the food store on Tuesday night. (Yeah, that’s right, I called it a “food store”—do you wanna fight about it?) Anyway, lo and behold, there they were: blackberries, on sale for $1.99. I picked up a carton, sized it up, liked what I saw, and nonchalantly placed it into my grocery cart (into the upper "basket" area by the handle). But alas, it seems my placement was a little too nonchalant as the carton immediately fell out the back of the cart and onto the floor:
Upon impact, the carton popped open, berries flew everywhere, pandemonium ensued. My 1st reaction was to giggle and look around nervously to see if there were any witnesses (there weren't). My 2nd reaction was to realize I had quite the crisis of conscience on my hands. I could...

a) Put a canvas bag over my head and run out of the store with identity concealed and dignity intact.
b) Grab a new container and continue shopping as if the whole thing never happened only to become wracked with guilt a few minutes later when a voice got on the PA to request "cleanup in produce".
c) Go ask the high school kid working at the deli what I should do, and be told: "Screw 'em, man, s*** happens".
d) Get on my knees, put the fallen berries back in the carton, buy them, wash them ridiculously thoroughly with water, and eat them.

Which option do you think I chose? What would you have done?

Feed Your Mind

I'm not quite sure what caused it (that recent brain MRI, undergone for a research study, which revealed an unexpectedly noticeable degree of CSF in my parietal lobe, perhaps?), but I've lately developed an obsession with eating (and cooking) in a brain-friendlier fashion.

My newfound neural neurosis might also stem, in part, from a research article I read not long ago that discussed the profound effects of malnutrition on the human brain. The study, which used MRI to assess the brains of acutely ill anorexia patients both before and after inpatient hospitalization, reported that brain matter actually atrophies in tandem with starvation-induced weight loss. Fortunately, this (and other) research also suggests that the brain can "grow back", at least in part, with proper weight restoration.

Cerebral sustenance
Whereas the above article offers a more drastic example of how food and nutrients (or the lack thereof) can affect the brain, a July 2008 Economist article discusses subtler, yet more universally applicable, evidence of this phenomenon. Titled "Food for thought", the piece offers various tips on how to "eat your way to a better brain", citing many foods known to enhance learning, improve memory, and protect again age-related cognitive decline.

Such foods include those rich in: omega-3 oils (e.g., salmon, kiwi, walnuts); folic acid (spinach, beans); and antioxidants such as Vitamin C (berries, citrus), Vitamin E (almonds, avocado, vegetable oils), and flavanoids (tea, dark chocolate, red wine). For more details, including a "Brain Food" menu for the entire day, check out the Economist article here.

Crime and Matrimony

What follows is perhaps the final chapter in the bildungsroman of a protagonist formerly cloaked under the moniker of a "certain (unnamed) member of brumpelstiltskin"; who I'd intended to refer to herein as Mikhail Fyodorovich Brumbelmazov; but who, since he recently chose to reveal his true identity, I shall begrudgingly refer to sans nom de plume as Mike-Michael.

But before I do any such thing, I must first digress into a brief discussion of Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. Said novel begins with its main character, Raskolnikov, contemplating the following plan: entering the apartment of an unattractive, loathsome, disgusting, miserly, wicked, old "crone" of a woman (a pawnbroker by trade); divorcing her from existence (i.e., murdering her); stealing her money and other valuable pawned items (e.g., jewelry); and then redistributing said riches to the poor.

During this stage of premeditation, Raskolnikov reflects on why most crimes are so easily solved, and decides it is because the perpetrator "experiences at the moment of the crime a sort of failure of will and reason, which, on the contrary, are replaced by a phenomenal, childish thoughtlessness, just at the moment when reason and prudence are most necessary". In contrast, Raskolnikov considers himself a cut above the common criminal, and thus immune to such weak-kneed witlessness.

But in the heat of the moment, when Raskolnikov finally carries out this act, his once-steely self-assurance melts away:

A dark, tormenting thought [rose] in him—the thought that he had fallen into madness and was unable at that moment either to reason or to protect himself, and that he was perhaps not doing at all what he should have been doing ... 'My God! I must run, run away!'

With that said, I now return to our main character, Mike-Michael, who, not two months ago, found himself contemplating this plan: entering the apartment of a beautiful, lovable, charming, giving, angelic, young "gem" of a woman (a social worker by trade)—not with the intent of murder, to be sure, but certainly with an "M" word in mind—and temporarily stealing a specific, rather invaluable article of jewelry (a ring).

Much like Raskolnikov, as Mike-Michael entered the scene of his crime, he felt presumptuously, even arrogantly, confident not only in the inevitable success of his venture, but also in the careful and collected precision with which he would execute it. But also like Raskolnikov, Mike-Michael's aplomb and self-assurance would prove short-lived.

No sooner had he entered the apartment—by means of a spare key he'd cunningly secured beforehand—than a pang of tormenting questions struck his senses: Was the door deadbolted when he arrived, or had he only unlocked the knob? Which way should he lock it upon departing? What if he guessed wrong? How could he make such a crass mistake‽

From there a virtual deluge of doubts poured forth: Had he wiped his boots well enough? What if he left behind incriminating footprints? Where was the jewelry box? What if she noticed that a ring was missing from it? What if the cat noticed that a ring was missing from it? Why was he acting like a thoughtless child? Where had his reason gone? Should he run away?

Fortunately, and somewhat miraculously, our "hero" was able to pull himself together and pull off the heist undetected. But alas, it would all be for naught. For just as Raskolnikov's crime proved to be in vain—he ended up burying his stolen goods in a courtyard rather than selling them off to benefit the poor—so too did Mike-Michael's crime fail to serve its intended purpose.

Namely, later that evening, when he placed the ring atop a glass counter and triumphantly stated, "I think this should answer the question at hand," his jeweler gave it a quick examination before very politely and delicately inquiring: "Do you happen to know what hand she wears this on? Or which finger? One of her...thumbs, perhaps?"

Indeed, it was a thumb ring he had stolen. But by the grace of Don, he still managed to secure the right-sized ring. And by the grace of God, when he presented this ring—a new ring—to her, she said "Yes".

In other words, Mike-Michael is engaged.

Lala La Truths

A few weeks back, a friend of brumpelstiltskin (code name: clake) invited me to join a music site called Lala. Appended to his enthusiastic invitation was the following disclaimer:

I know this email sounds like I just got a secret second job as a viral marketing wonk, but really I'm just very excited!

I'd like to begin this post by seconding said disclaimer.

That said, I'd also like to proclaim, publicly, that not since my discovery of Rate Your Music—nay, not since the heyday of Napster itself—have I been this head-over-heels, feel-like-a-schoolboy-again, love-love-me-do IN LOVE with a music website!

What so great? In brief, Lala allows you to build a personalized online collection of "web songs" that can be streamed (i.e., listened to online) from any computer an unlimited number of times. Web songs can be added in two ways: 1st, all songs from your computer's preexisting digital collection can be uploaded for free; and 2nd, other songs (chosen from Lala's database of over 6 million tracks) can be added to your web collection for a mere 10 cents (note: creating an account allows you to add 50 such tracks for free).

Lest I get too carried away, though, I should mention that Lala is not perfect. For instance:

• It doesn't have licensed access to all artists' catalogs (The Beatles are a key example), although "unlicensed" songs can still be uploaded to your private web collection if you already "own" them on your computer.
• The process of uploading your preexisting digital collection (via Lala's Music Mover software) can be quite slow, although it eventually gets the job done.

Fortunately, Lala's many perks more than make up for any shortcomings. For example:

• Songs (and albums) not in your collection can be listened to once, in their entirety, for free. This feature allowed me, for instance, to determine that Skylarking by XTC—an album that used to be on my wishlist despite having never heard it—is not something I actually need to own.
• Web songs purchased for 10 cents can later be upgraded to downloadable iPod-friendly MP3s for a price comparable to iTunes.
  
• Lala includes a social networking component—an iTunes/Facebook lovechild of sorts—that allows you to "follow" what your friends are listening to, send them instantaneous song recommendations, and promote up to four "songs you think others should listen to" via your own personal "Music Forecast"
• What's more, said Music Forecast can be embedded on your MySpace or Facebook page—and, yes, on your blog as well (see the right side of Mic's Tape; clicking on the play button next to each song will play it for free)

La La La Lies - The Who

One last feature to share is that songs can also be embedded directly into a blog post itself. Notice that I've embedded "La La La Lies", a 1965 track by The Who that's remarkable if only because it inspired the name of this very article.

Wig & Pen Triumphs Over Flood

I was very fortunate, this past June, to be spared the direct effects of the 2008 Iowa flood; many around me (including family, friends, coworkers, and beloved businesses) were not so lucky.

Looking back, one of the images that hit closest to home was that of the Wig & Pen Pizza Pub—perhaps brumpelstiltskin's favorite local eatery—completely surrounded by water. Particularly striking was seeing the restaurant's signature red telephone box almost entirely submerged by the Iowa River.

Thus, it was joyous news last Friday that heralded the Wig & Pen's triumphant reopening, which was tentatively scheduled for this past Saturday (10 Jan). Aside from a new four-foot flood wall, owner Dick Querrey has signaled that little else will have changed. In other words, the establishment's Anglo-cized ambiance (possibly inspired by this pub in Portsmouth, UK?) should retain every ounce of its original charm.

So, please join brumpelstiltskin in paying them a visit soon (or ordering from their east side delivery/takeout location). If you're not sure what to get, do consider their renowned "Flying Tomato" pizza: surely the most delightfully tasty concoction of pan-style crust, mozzarella, sauce, and fresh tomato slices that I've ever had the pleasure of consuming.